


Blue Raspberry Jolly Ranchers

by Pillowscience21



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Drunk Kara, Drunk Lena Luthor, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Its fuffy and sweet trust me, Kara is an adorable drunk, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena is a soft loving girlfriend, Lena is an adorable drunk, M for language, One Shot, SuperCorp, casual use of superpowers, cute beans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 18:53:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17473079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pillowscience21/pseuds/Pillowscience21
Summary: Realization dawns on Lena’s face she drops her head into her hands, “Oh god! I drunk serenaded you.”“And your theatrical rendition of ‘Fergalicious’, will forever haunt my dreams.”“Fuck -”orLena finds out Kara has never been drunk before and makes it her mission to reconcile the situation.





	Blue Raspberry Jolly Ranchers

**Author's Note:**

> This is my scotch induced brainchild and I apologize for nothing. 
> 
>  
> 
> In this fic we are pretending that the whole debacle where Mon-El got Kara drunk didn't happen at all. 
> 
> I added a lil to this, because someone threw a fit about people making Kara drink when she doesn’t want to. She wants to get plastered, she just has never had the opportunity! 
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pillowscience21) @Pillowscience21

After the third glass of scotch passes between Alex and Lena, Kara is resigned to the fact that she is going to be carrying everyone home tonight. Both her sister and her girlfriend are definitely showing signs of inebriation and no signs of slowing down.

 

“Guys are you sure you should keep drinking like this?” Kara dares to ask, sniffing the glass of amber liquid that the bartender handed to her at Lena’s insistence - the single glass probably costing more than a months salary.

 

Alex levels her with a glare, waving a finger in the air. “Kara, if your billionaire girlfriend offers to take us to a scotch tasting and pay for every drink we have, you can bet your alien ass I am going to take full advantage of it.”

 

Kara clenches her jaw glancing at the bartender who seemed unaffected by the statement to her relief, she gives Alex an exasperated look - Lena giggles beside her.

 

Her girlfriend knits her eyebrows together and taps the bartop between them. “Kara, drink your drink and lighten up - that is a $10,000 pour,”

 

_Called it._

 

“-if you don’t drink it I will.”

 

“I’ll take it!” Alex chimes, already reaching over to pry the glass from Kara’s hand. “These things are lost on Kara anyway, since she isn't affected by it.”

 

“You can’t be serious.” Lena scoffs. “What about all of those times we got wine drunk together and made fools of ourselves?”

 

“As it turns out my acting become exponentially better, in the eyes of a woman who has had ⅓ of a bottle of merlot.” Kara shrugs, giving Lena a knowing look.

 

Realization dawns on Lena’s face she drops her head into her hands, “Oh god! I drunk serenaded you.”

 

“And your theatrical rendition of ‘Fergalicious’, will forever haunt my dreams.”

 

“Fuck -”

 

Alex stifles a laugh into her glass, earning a harrowing glare from Lena, she shrinks back a little holding her new drink protectively. “Yeah, it’s no fun having her chronically sober ass hovering over you - _literally_ when you just want to get plastered and act like an idiot sometimes.”

 

Kara raises her hands in surrender. “Hey! If I could I would, it’s not my fault human liquor doesn’t meet my special requirements.”

 

Lena orders herself and Alex another round specifying she wants the most expensive pour they serve, Alex claims it’s better than sex - Lena buys her the bottle.

* * *

 

Someone is stabbing her in the head, or maybe they are gouging her eye’s from their sockets. Whatever is happening, Lena wishes she could return to the sweet black abyss she was blissfully occupying before she became aware of these things. She clenches her eyes tighter shut and  attempts to wet her dry lips with her tongue, finding it heavy and uncooperative, her mouth could pass for a cotton mill, and there is a voice booming in ears threatening to split her skull in two.

 

Lena is vaguely aware that there is a dip in the soft surface beside her, and a hand is rubbing slow circles between her shoulder blades. “Lena?”

 

_Kara? Ah, that's what that sound is._

 

Lena smacks her tongue on the roof of her mouth a couple of times before she is capable of forming syllables, she isn’t proud of the words that fall out - she isn’t exactly sorry either.

 

“God Kara would you just shut up, you’re so looooud.”

 

Kara giggles beside her, it registures that she should rejoice at the sound of her girlfriend happy in the morning, but right now the reality in her mind is far from physicality of the present.

 

“Lena, baby - I know you don’t feel well, but I brought you some breakfast and coffee to help you feel better, if you want it you are going to have to at least sit up.”

 

Lena groans and tries in vain to get her body to cooperate with her brain, she ends up flopping back down to the mattress helplessly.

 

“Can’t you just do it for me?” She whines.

 

Kara doesn’t answer for a moment, and Lena reluctantly cracks her eyelids to make sure she is still there, she catches a smirk on the blondes lips, as she reaches her strong arms under Lena scooping her up to gently hover off the ground and float them to the kitchen table where a full breakfast awaits. Lena sways a little in the chair she is placed in, Kara keeps a hand on her shoulder to ensure her stability, before she takes her place in the seat across the table.

 

They eat in silence, Lena’s condition progressively improving with every slice of bacon to pass her lips, Kara obviously has something on her mind - no doubt something that will give Lena some unwelcome insight on how exactly their night ended. She has an idea of course, her irish roots proving good for more than alabaster skin and emerald eyes. She remembers buying a ridiculously expensive bottle of scotch, in an attempt to impress/bribe her girlfriends sister into continuing to approve of their relationship, she remembers Kara changing into her Supergirl uniform and through some sort of alien juggling act flying with them both home, she dropped Alex off first then flew Lena to her apartment - after that it gets a little fuzzy.

 

Because while Kara was finding her something to sleep in, Lena found the bottle of wine they didn’t finish on their date last week, and while Kara was pulling the sheets back Lena pulled the cold pizza out of the fridge and ate it crust first because she ‘never gets to enjoy bread during the day’.

 

“So…” Kara finally hums, unable to hold back any longer.

 

“I don’t even want to know, let me live in sweet ignorance, please.”

 

“But, Lena you were so adorable…”

 

“No! Don’t tell me, Kara.” Lena warns.

 

Kara ignores her. “You decided that you needed a puppy in your life, so you spent at least 40 minutes researching adoption sites and singing that Sarah McLachlan song from the ASPCA commercial.”

 

“Oh god -”

 

“You knew all of the words. I was impressed.”

 

“Ugh…”

 

“Then you licked my arm because apparently I taste like a fine dessert wine, before you passed out on my side of the bed.”

 

Lena drops her head in her hands, and rubs her throbbing temples with her thumbs. “It’s so not fair that you can’t get drunk.”

 

Kara shrugs. “I _can_ get drunk, just not on human alcohol.”

 

This piques Lena’s interest. “Really? What works on you?”

 

“There are a few alien liquors that would probably work, but I don’t think I would like the taste of them so I have never tried them.”

 

Lena takes in this information, pours herself another cup of coffee and formulates her plan.

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re sure this will work?” Lena asks, holding the 8 oz mason jar filled with blueish liquid up to fluorescent light, it reminds her of the slurpee Kara forced her to drink that time they went to the Zoo - it’s perfect.

 

J’onn produces one more jar and hands it Lena with a smile, “Trust me, one glass of this stuff to Kara is the equivalent of half a bottle of whiskey to you. I’m told when you mix it with lemon lime soda it tastes like jolly ranchers, whatever that is.”

 

“It’s perfect.” Lena says, taking her prize and waving at Alex who flashes her a knowing smile and a thumbs up as she makes her way out of the bar.

 

Two weeks later, Kara is curled up on Lena’s couch queuing Gilmore Girls up where they left off and chewing audibly on a bite of pepperoni pizza. Lena pours herself a gin and tonic - sans gin - and mixes Kara the much anticipated jolly rancher flavored cocktail J’onn recommended. Admittedly Lena uses less alcohol than she would normally, because the last thing she would want to do is hurt Kara in anyway, she garnishes it with blackberries skewered on a toothpick and smiles at her work.

 

Lena saunters over to the couch placing her own drink on a coaster, and holds Kara’s out for her to take, but pulls away just as long fingers brush the condensation gathering on the outside of the glass, Kara gives her an adorable puzzled look raising an eyebrow in question.

 

“Kara, before I give this to you - you should know I paid a visit to that little alien bar you are always going to.” Lena starts nervously.

 

“Ok…”

 

“And in this glass is a martian liqueur that J’onn distills himself, I think it is only fair after the amount of times you have seen me make a fool of myself, I should get to _at least_ see what you are like a little buzzed.”

 

Kara gives Lena a toothy grin, that considerably calms her nerves, but that grin morfes into a smirk,  “Lena… you know you don’t need to get me drunk to get in my pants.” She accentuated the sentence with a wink.

 

Lena blushes ignoring the statement completely, “I’m told it tastes like candy.”

 

“Well hand it over!” Kara takes the glass from her and sips enthusiastically, her eyes light up at the taste and Lena swoons when her lips come back with a slight blue tinge. “Oh my god it tastes like blue Jolly Ranchers!”

 

Kara dives back in, taking a huge swig from the glass and swallowing with a loud gulp. Lena has to place her hand on Kara’s forearm to stop her from drinking the rest in one sitting, “Darling, you need to pace yourself, you don’t know how it is going to affect you yet.”

 

“Oh! Yeah, you’re right. Should we watch the show?” Kara leans back on the couch cushion, drink in hand and presses play.

 

One glass down, if Lena didn’t know Kara so well, she probably wouldn’t have known anything was amiss, she laughs a little louder at the jokes on television, sings along with the opening a tiny bit more enthusiastically than she normally would - Lena pours her another drink.

 

After drink two, Lena is starting to question weather J’onn was correct about the potency of his product. The only change in Kara’s demeanor is the fact that she has become slightly more affectionate, she pouts the tiniest bit when she to realizes they are on separate sides of the couch, she opens her long arms wide clasping and unclasping her hands in a silent plea for Lena to crawl into them. Lena gives in and indulges in a two episode cuddle session, reveling in the soft touches and gentle forehead kisses Kara doles out in regular intervals - when the third episode starts she gets up and pours another drink.

 

Lena’s cheek is pressed against Kara’s chest when she feels her reach to the table to pick up her drink and finish it with a gulp. To call Kara cuddly at this point, would be an understatement, the constant jostle of her head when Kara bursts into a silent fit of giggles is Lena’s proof that her mission has been successful. Lena lifts her head and gives Kara a look that she hopes screams kiss me, her girlfriend takes the hint and leans in but the purse of her blue lips dissolves into a fit of laughter against Lena’s mouth.

 

Lena sits up, Kara laughs so hard the couch shakes. “What’s so funny?”

 

Kara doesn’t answer, she just shakes her head and clutches her stomach as her laughs become a total body experience.

 

“Kara! What’s so funny?”

 

“I don’t even remember, but it was hilarious!” She manages between waves of laughter, she reaches out for her glass again, she pouts with the realization that it is pretty much empty before pouring the remains of liquid diluted by melted ice into her mouth.

 

“Babe, I think that might be empty.” Lena feels the need to point out.

 

“Whaaaat! Nooooo, the ice melts and then i-it’s like second drink!” Kara tips the rest of the contents into her mouth crunching happily on ice.

 

“Kara Danvers, did you just slur your words?”

 

“Did I? Hold on let me try something. C-choco-lateee, choclit. Haha! Maybe a little.”

 

“I think it’s time for some water.” Lena returns to the kitchen to grab Kara a glass of water and another slice of pizza, when she returns to the living room her girlfriend is nowhere to be found and a wave of panic rushes through her at the thought of a drunk Superhero being released onto National City.

 

“Kara?”

 

A blonde head popping up from behind the couch startles her - _thank god I’m sober right now._

 

“Uhh, what are you doing down there?”

 

“The floor is cold, it feels good.”

 

“Ok…not that I am complaining but, any reason why you took your pants off?” Lena asks, taking in Kara’s cute floral boy shorts.

 

“I don’t know, legs?” Kara says as if that answers Lena’s question in any way.

 

“If you say so.”

 

Kara sits up places her hands in her lap and crosses her legs like a child during story time, then very slowly she begins to float off the ground inching closer to Lena. “You’re pretty.” She finally says when they are face to face.

 

Lena holds the glass of water out to her drunk-floating Kryptonian girlfriend. “You are too sweetie, here drink this.”

 

“I would rather drink a tall glass of you.” Kara tries to wink, but it comes out more as an awkward blink.

 

Lena leans in and gives Kara a chaste kiss on the lips. “You are just a little too inebriated for me to take you up on that offer.”

 

“Your loss.” Kara shrugs taking the glass and downing it in one gulp. “Is that pizza for me?”

 

“Only if you come back to the couch with me.”

 

Kara grins and floats over the couch, but doesn’t lower herself down onto it.

 

“Ass on cushion and I’ll give you this pizza.”

 

Kara lands with a thump and takes her prize gratefully. Once Lena is satisfied that she has had enough water and food to prevent a hangover, she goes to turn Netflix back on when Kara utters four magical words that Lena is sure will haunt Kara till the day she leaves this planet for good.

 

“We should sing Karaoke.”

 

Lena readies her phone for video.

* * *

 

Monday morning Lena walks into her office to find a bottle of scotch on her desk, taped to the side of it is a bag of Blue Jolly Ranchers and a note.

 

     _Your video was a hit at the DEO_.

_Best girlfriend-in-law, ever. - A_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
